April 29, 2005

A Little Boobage Story

When I was 11 or so and still hadn't developed in my upper region, I ordered a "Solution" from in ad in the back of one of my teen magazines. It promised to make your ta-tas grow like you wouldn't believe.

I waited patiently for 6-8 weeks for what I thought would be a cream or gel to rub on nightly with a prayer.

It turned out to be a ten-page booklet with sketches of exercises. One exercise instructed the flat-chested reader to put their hands in prayer position and nestle them under their breast shelf right at the sternum. Push up and lift. Release. Repeat.

I thought that shit working...and then I figured out it was only puberty.

I want my money back.

Posted by Tiffany at April 29, 2005 07:36 AM
Comments

We must, we must, we must increase our bust!

Posted by: Jim at April 29, 2005 08:22 AM

Another surefire way to make 'em grow - getting pregnant.

But then they'll never be the same after that. Poor things.

Posted by: Amanda at April 29, 2005 09:14 AM

If Robert Keeme were a girl, he'd have written this post.

I had the opposite problem - always wanting to stunt my puppies from growing. Having an ample rack and being a ballerina didn't really sit well with the Corps de Ballet masters. Also, using the term "ample rack" anywhere near a dance studio is cause for "gasp-age". Heh.

Posted by: Momotrips at April 29, 2005 02:13 PM

We must've ordered the same cream! LOL

*still waiting on 34a's to grow*

Posted by: MsThing at April 29, 2005 04:33 PM

* I will gladly assist in any application to enhance the female form!


*Must be 21 or older


Momotrips... if I was a girl my grammar would most likely still suck so there would be a lot of ... and !!! for show.

Posted by: KEEME at April 29, 2005 10:29 PM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?