August 13, 2005

Family Reunions

My grandma sent me a set of kitchen curtains and some information about a family reunion being held in Waterbury right before Labor Day.

Dude, my grandma is 83. I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but damned if I really want to spend time being henpecked by a bunch of people who smell like Jean NĂ¢te and Old Spice deodorant.

I mean, come on, let's face it: I'm adorable. I'm short and I'm skinnier than the family average, and I have all my teeth.

That means I'm successful.

Although a part of me really wants to put my college diploma in my suitcase to go show off my mental prowess, another part of me just doesn't want to be bothered.

And besides, I'd never humilate Scott by dragging him to one of these things.

In case you're just tuning in, here's some illuminating backstory:

Scott is white. I am not. I am the descendant of slaves and jews with curly-fros. We're past discussion of such issues in our relationship because it don't matta.

The one time I allowed my grandma to strongarm me into bringing Scott to her church was the LAST time either of us have been in a church. There are always people who will spin gossip in your favor, so one of those people called me and let me know who was talking smack about us after we left - a person who wasn't even present in the building. Word travels fast in small towns.

And in case you're wondering the difference between black family reunions and white family reunions, I can dedicate an entire post to that...but, I'd rather someone else do it. I do have embarrassing photographs to corroborate mine, though.

It's not really that big of a deal, I guess. I could go by myself and be miserable and asked an arseload of stupid-ass questions about my occupation and "how I get my hair do do that" or I can sit at home and laugh maniacally.

I really don't want to find myself on a plane that close to Labor Day, anyway....I could leave early and drive, but....damn it. I'll need to flip a coin.

Posted by Tiffany at August 13, 2005 12:42 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Go see your Grandmother, Tiffany. Especially if 90 days have passed since you last saw her.

*nudges you in direction of reunion*

LOL

Posted by: MsThing at August 13, 2005 06:11 PM

LOL Family reunions are hell, thats for sure. People are always judging you in some way or another. I hate to say it, but you should really consider going. They probably don't have them that often and it would make your grandma really happy. But I totally get you if you decide not to go because I'm really the pot calling the kettle black since I haven't gone to one of my huge family reunions in, uh, 10, uh, I mean 15 years. :)

Posted by: Flourish at August 13, 2005 07:07 PM

I'd go see "Grandma" too but not at a family reunion and especially not if my husband wasn't really welcome. Your story reminded me of something I was told by the Chief of Equal Opportunity (!) at an Air Force base years ago. He said, "I don't want no white women in my family, I don't care if it's Caroline Kennedy herself!"
Whatcha gonna do?

Posted by: Nanc' at August 14, 2005 09:28 AM

Part of me wants you to go, just for the inevitable priceless blog material. The rest of me? Is not quite that cruel.

Posted by: Fraulein N at August 15, 2005 12:52 PM

Take the cat. Tell them you've decided to try an inter-species relationship. That should keep them talking for awhile. :)

Posted by: wordweaver at August 15, 2005 03:15 PM

are we relatives john fuse

Posted by: john at August 17, 2005 05:20 PM

Let us know what you decide.

I'm curious because my wife is Japanese, and her family always treated us well, although her sister and brother gave my wife a hard time before we got married, almost 30 years ago now. Her parents were very nearly killed in the Atomic bombing of Hiroshima.

My family loves my wife. If it came down to a choice between her or me, I'd be voted out of my own family. It wouldn't be close.

Posted by: MarkD at August 17, 2005 08:28 PM

are you a fuse,my last name is fuse

Posted by: john at August 18, 2005 01:05 PM
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