Tiiiiiimmmmbeeeer!

Um. I'm a creature of habit. Some people might actually go as far as to say that I can be anal retentive when it comes to having routines.

At work I like to do the same tasks in the same order every day so that I don't omit anything. If someone comes up to me and asks me to do some random task I get angry because it kills my flow.

When I come home I like to live routines at the door so that I can relax. Okay, I guess that's sort of a routine, too. My plan for today was to spend thirty minutes catching up on some work stuff and then fiddle a bit with a short story I've been trying to finish.

That dream sort of got squashed when I pulled into the driveway and saw a big ole piece of tree on the front lawn.

I have to admit that I was momentarily pissed because I really wanted to believe that one of the neighbors had dragged it over from their yard. Realizing that the very idea was silly and childish I went about cutting it up before too many people saw it. I knew Scott wouldn't be home before dark so it was either up to me or the termites to deal with it.

If you can't tell from the photo above, this is not a branch. It is was the top quarter of the left-most tree...one with a skinny trunk, but all the same it ain't a branch. It's about 18 feet long and it's a miracle it didn't fall on the roof.

As we don't own a chainsaw I cut it into four-foot segments with a hand saw. The people taking their dogs for walks were walking annoyingly slow past my yard as I flicked sweat off my brow and tried breaking tree with my bare hands. I know for a fact that my neighbor (one who walked by with dogs) owns a chainsaw. He couldn't offer to make the four necessary cuts to the damned thing to get it down to a manageable size? Where has all the chivalry gone? People think it's so fucking fun to look out the window (I'm not exaggerating) and watch their neighbors work like dogs, or else they find it satisfying that their yard is cleaner than yours.

If my hip were at 100% I would have just sawed through part way and then kicked the shit apart. I tried that once and....well, you remember that scene from Napoleon Dynamite where he tries going over the bike ramp? Well...imagine that, but in the scenario of an angry little woman jumping on a bowed branch.

It's done. There's my exercise for the month.

Posted by Tiffany at September 20, 2005 06:32 PM | TrackBack