Double Agent

I have a confession to make. I have a second blog. It's my "mommy blog." You may wonder why I would feel the need to have a seperate blog to discuss The Kid, but that's a fairly simple answer: I felt dirty.

Seriously. I went from being this high-tempered, foul-mouthed beer lush to someone genuinely afraid that she's going to fuck her kid up during the past year. While I'm still a high-tempered, foul-mouthed beer lush and just as snarky as ever, I've had to learn to exhibit two very different personalities at home. I'm not going to change who I am, no sir, but I don't want my kid to be as sarcastic as I was when I was an ankle-biter (but my mom TOTALLY deserved that). When I cross the threshold into whatever room he's in, I plaster on my "happy mommy" face so that he'll feel secure and loved, even if in my head I'm thinking "GRRRRRRRRR! Scott pretends he can't hear you cry, but I know the truth! I want a nap, damnit!"

I'm not one of those moms who feels like her life is over because she has a kid. I had plenty of time to go out to bars and come home late. Most of the time I spent my weekends watching HGTV and surfing the internet. I got all that partying out of my system my first two years in college, thanks. It's a miracle I never got alcohol poisoning...or maybe I did? *reminisces*

My eyes haven't become vacant and empty because I've wandered onto the path of parenthood. I haven't turned into a Stepford Wife robot. The only things that have changed are my aggressive driving habits and my relationship with my mother (aka "the woman who has yet to come visit her new grandson even though she's only three hours away and owns a vehicle.").

I just need to keep all the overflowing gushy baby love-babble and my anger/aggression/"I'm a woman first, mommy second" diatribes in seperate places, ya dig? It's cathartic.

Posted by Tiffany at January 10, 2007 10:40 AM | TrackBack