How come I got to have the yard that everyone else's leaves blow into? How come? Why, damn it? Why doesn't the lady across the street have leaves? She has as many trees as we do. I see her go out there every now and then to pick up the one single, solitary leaf that dares to fall in her yard. I actually had to go to the home improvement store to get their very last pair of gardening gloves today because the leaves in my yard have piled up so high that the squirrels think the roof of my house is on the same level with the forest floor and I don't wanna be reaching into a pile a leaves to have some Cujo-squirrel gnaw the hell out of my arm.
No, seriously though--I think the guy next door has a leaf blower and he blows all his sh*@ over here on Saturday mornings when I'm too knocked out to hear him turn it on. See, we don't have a lawn mower yet (or even a darn mulcher for that matter), so I'm having to rake up the 1 foot plus layer of leaves manually every couple days until the trees get done pissing me off for the year. Do they make Rogaine for oak trees?
Oh, you don't believe I have that many leaves piled up like a layer of crispy frosting over my yard? Well, I'll take a picture of it tomorrow. It's kind of dark right now and I'm not going out there to expose myself to Bambi and his gang that like to triapse through my yard at full throttle. Mind you, we don't have a dog and wouldn't keep one in there if it had to drown in those leaves. For all I know, there could be pirhanas living in there *shudder* (or at least some Carolina snake that I haven't learned to identify).
The ground is soooooooooooooooo hard. Hard dirt means no aeration. No aeration means....c'mon, guess. No, guess! Fine, don't guess. It means NO grass! I don't know what those nimwits (the p.hos) were doing to the lawn, but other than a few patches of moss and 'shrooms, we aint got grass. Nuh uh. The thing is--it could have been completely preventable. If they had mosied a lawn mower over the grass every now and then to help shred up some of the leaves they never raked (allowing no sun to the green stuff beneath), everything would be dandy.
Posted by Tiffany at October 20, 2003 07:22 PM