November 04, 2003

Bob Villa don't have a damn thing on me...even WITH the beard.

I'm like "whoa." I can fix stuff all by myself without the assistance of how-to manuals, and especially advice from my husband.

See, I've installed a doorknob or two in my day--that's the benefit of growing up with grandma and being in charge of all the maintenance work around the house. It was either I did it or granny would have to break out the wallet and have some guy come out and overcharge us for his primate ability to grasp a screwdriver.

All but two of the doorknobs in the house had been rendered uncapable of locking by the previous homeowners. Apparently they had rugrats that liked to lock them out of rooms (the selfsame rugrats that liked to chew gnaw marks on the windowsills and cable wires).

The doorknobs look to be as old as the house, evident by the fact that when I disassembled one, there was green gunk growing inside. I figured that, as in all other locks I've encountered, there had to be some sort of switch on the inside that would enable one to prevent undesired locking (which is pointless if you ask me--they DO make doorknobs that don't have locks at all. Get with the times, people!)

Anyhow, sure enough, there was a screw on the shaft that merely needed to be reversed to allow proper usage of the locking mechanism.

So you think, "Well, that's all well and good, but who cares? You fixed a lock. F-ing yay!" Point is, my husband told me it couldn't be done--it was supposed to be that way. Then again, this is coming from the same person who told me that I didn't need to remove the screws to take the knob off...maybe what he was really saying was that I couldn't do it.

Mu wu ha ha ha!

Posted by Tiffany at November 4, 2003 11:51 PM