November 03, 2003

I burned a $500 hole in my apartment's deck on move-out day.

My sister is cool. This past weekend she sent me 4 cigarettes wrapped in aluminum foil in a plastic toothbrush case and $3. See, that's what sisterhood's all about--not having shit, and yet still trying to give away what you do have.

Unfortunately, $3 in my gas tank is a mere tease--like Ramen Noodles for my car. I pull up to the pump and poor Accordia expects a full 17-gallon meal: something to sit right at the base of her rusting, empty stomach and fill her up right. But, no. I can't afford the $22 meal, so she gets the free breadsticks and water with lemon equivalent of $3, maybe $3.01 if I'm triggerhappy.

There's an ugly-ass cat that keeps walking in front of my window and scaring the living daylights out of me. I mean, the cat is so ugly that you can't even stare at it real long and LIE to yourself that it's cute. It's the most nondescript striped cat I've ever seen in my life...anyhow, the little bastard had the NERVE to shun me yesterday! It wasn't wearing a collar, and I always see it outside so surely it can't belong to someone. I think it lives in the wooded lot next door and eats the dog food my neighbors leave out for their brutes at night.

It kept turning around and looking at me like "Ha, I'm not afraid of you...see, I'm not running, am I?" I wanted to throw a rock at it just to prove that I could make it fear me, but it'd be just my luck that I'd be on Animal Precinct next season. Does the triangle even HAVE animal cruelty patrols? Anyway...I suspect the overgrown rodent will be back as it suspects that I will let it and all of its little flea friends into the house to keep me company during the. I'll just shoo it out the little doggy hatch when my husband gets home in the evening.

No kids rang our doorbell for Halloween. I'm glad. You see, our front yard is a safety hazard and it'd be just our luck that some poor shmuck and his idiot kid would come into the yard and break their back on the cracked cement. The yard light near the driveway is broken and looks like it hasn't worked since before "Beetlejuice" came out so its darker than a closed septic tank out there at night. Anywho, there's still a Christmas bow up on the garage light that the p.ho's left up there knowing that we probably wouldn't have a damn ladder for a few years and wouldn't be able to take it down. The kids probably thought we had skipped Halloween altogether and rushed straight to the winter holidays...even though its FREAKING 80 degrees outside right now!

I'm supposed to call the water people today. For some reason, the water pressure in this place is slower than piss and that's not very good for washing the car. Hubby's been trying to get me to call them for a week, but I don't feel like it. Maybe I'll call tomorrow....

Posted by Tiffany at November 3, 2003 12:19 PM