I rarely go out to lunch with my coworkers as I have to phone sit during that time, however sometimes I miss interesting events. For example, today BossSon (the eternally single 20-year-old) made a pass at the hostess at the restaurant they went to. Fortunately for him, she didn't smack the hell out of him.
I sort of wonder what sort of women respond to pick-up lines. I'm not one of them. I expressed to the boys earlier that in my opinion the best way to pick up a woman (that you want to keep) is to approach her with a smile and say "Hi, my name is..." and to look at her like she was the cutest thing you've ever seen--not a greasy, "OOooooOOoh baby I like your breasts in that shirt" look.
They rebutted: "But we're shy. We think we're going to get rejected."
I responded: "And you will get rejected if you think pick-up lines give you courage."
The line BossSon happened to use was "There's only one thing in here that's better looking than the hamburgers."
Alllllllllllrightie then. The line he was going to use (and was advised against) was "You're not wearing any panties."
You see, the unwitting/dumb chick would respond "But, I am wearing panties!" Then the pick-up line shmuck would say, "Oh, sorry. I was seeing ten minutes into the future."
Gag me.
Here's a tip I gave. Shy guys would greatly benefit from asking women for their help. We're always right to start with, so when someone asks our opinion we're flattered. I told Hat Guy to go to Total Wine or some such place and to skulk around until an attractive, successful woman came by. Then he should say something like, "You look like you have good taste. Would this bottle go well with a steak dinner?"
The prey certainly wouldn't smack him for being fresh, and if anything they'd have a conversation.
I'm curious to know what my female readers believe to be the best tactics for snaring us. Some of you single men could benefit.
Posted by Tiffany at December 21, 2004 10:01 PMI've never used pick-up lines, myself. I just stand around and lick my eyebrows.
(My inner dialogue is set to "broadcast".)
Posted by: Jim at December 22, 2004 08:14 AMWhere the hell did these guys come from? Those lines will only work on hookers. Personally, I don't think they deserve your help.
Posted by: Nanc' at December 22, 2004 10:44 AMI spewed my pepsi when I read his hamburger pick-up line. Being compared to a dead, cooked piece of meat... yeah, real flattering.
Posted by: Amanda at December 22, 2004 01:10 PMThis line is my full-lipped niece's favorite pick-up line to quote (I believe her answer was "as if"...): "Sweetheart, you've got some Dick Suckin' Lips." Um, eeww. We refer to her lips as DSL's, now.
Mine was in a situation in college where a seemingly nice young man was introduced to me (by a very trusted person) and as he very seriously took my hand he said "You've got beautiful red hair - are you red ALLOVER?" As his gaze lustfully swept me up and down and he squeezed my hand and his eyes stopped back at what I'm sure he'd have referred to as my "nice rack". I almost fainted I was so mortified - there were no words. The person who introduced him to me just left him there and walked away...I don't think he ever spoke to him again. What was this guy thinking?
The best line I ever got was from a handsome man in a bar that I saw scoping me out across the room. He made his way over to me and said that he'd picked me out of the crowd because I looked like I was having the most fun and he liked the way I laughed. Wow. He then told me he liked that I was wearing a nice business suit instead of the stuff most of the girls were wearing and that I looked like I had more going for me than just a short skirt. Flattery is good, of course he turned out to be married, so you never know.
My husband got me with "What makes you think you can just leave your empty beer on my table without even saying hello?" Yeah, he's got a way with words...
Posted by: Momotrips at December 22, 2004 05:32 PM