May 26, 2006

Pinch 'em blue.

You know what? I am the perfect fucking customer. When I go into stores and the cash register is down because it just decided to reboot itself for the hell of it I stand there patiently and wait without comment or scowl. Know why? Because I've spent hours in the server closet at work pulling cords and cables trying to get ornery computers to work. No kid making $6.50 an hour ringing up shoes and sandals is going to know how long its going to take for the register to come back up. To start with, they're terrified that you're going to curse them out without provocation.

When a foodservice preparer puts tomatoes/onions/whatever on my food even after I requested for them not to I keep my mouth shut and eat it anyway (that chopped steak incident being the one exception). Know why? Because I've had that job and it sucks. Even if you rarely make mistakes, there are some customers that are never satisfied. Like the ones who go into Ben & Jerry's, order the fat free yogurt, taste it, and say, "Can I not take this? I don't want it," and then leave it on the counter. That's eight onces of ice cream that goes into the trash that some pissed off shift manager has to log on the day's inventory or else be chastised by the shop manager that their crew has been overscooping (or else stealing ice cream).

When I leave work to go to the doctor at a certain appointment time and end up waiting an hour in the reception area, I wait patiently and play a little solataire on my PalmOne. Medicine is unpredictable. No way in hell is your obstetrician going to be there for every appointment on her calendar. BECAUSE SOMETIMES SHE HAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO DELIVER SOMEONE'S KID.

In general, I think that the thing that makes some consumers so miserable to deal with is their fucking patience problem. The rudeness stems directly from that. You know why I'm so damned patient? Because my grandma made me go to a church where the pastor would speak at least an hour each Sunday. The full service lasted from 11:30 am to at least 2:00. That's a long damn time for a little kid to be sitting still in an itchy dress. And if I didn't sit still, my grandma would pinch me so fucking hard on my arm that I swear she broke some nerves. It would feel like she was cracking a walnut between her fingers - better not cry, either.

I say we bring back pinching. Let's start with those "adults" who walk into places and say "Give me [insert commodity here] NOW. I'm in a hurry."

Posted by Tiffany at May 26, 2006 05:31 PM | TrackBack
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